Three days and counting...

..until the fun begins *insert sarcasm here*--I mean classes of course. Oh joy. Text books, lectures, quizzes, tests, clinical, care plans, white uniforms. But alas, summer must end, and the shorter crisp days of fall will be upon us soon.

I do have to remind myself how much I enjoy the learning process, in order to keep a positive attitude. Now that there are only two more semesters to go I can sense the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's there, I just can't see it quite yet but I feel the fresh air.

Stress and test anxiety

I built up a lot of stress and test anxiety last semester. Most of it came from knowing that if I do not do well I get booted out of the program. I did fantastic in my pre-req's --I got all A's except for my CPR class so I ended up with a 3.96 average. Yeah for me! This was an amazing fact because I was never all that great of a student in HS. Average, very average. I am older and hopefully wiser now. What I do know about myself is that if I ENJOY it and WANT it, I will do well.

My primary instructor informed us on the first day of class that we should NOT expect to get all A's even if we had been an A student.. I knew the effort that I put forth before and just thought I could step it up a notch and no problem. WRONG. This nursing stuff is a whole new ballgame.

I did ok at first, some B's on quizzes. Then some horrific quiz scores that scared the pants off me. To the point that I realized this was going to be rough. I did pass the Pharmacology section with an over all B so I felt a bit more confident. Then came the M/S midterm. That knocked my butt to the curb and shook my confidence badly. We have to get a 70% or higher in each of the 3 sections to be allowed to continue. M/S is all semester long. Pharm is the first 1/2 and OB is the last 1/2 of the semester. My M/S mid-term was just a wee bit over the passing line. The panic set in. I had to do well on the final or (well I can't even type those words) ...

I passed. I am thrilled and at the same time disappointed in myself. I can do better and I know it but I let my fears and mind take over my ability to concentrate. I got the stereotypical sweaty palms during the test and felt like thoughts jumped from my brain cells. Oddly enough during clinical exams I feel alive and confident. I talk myself down and breathed calmly. This same thing happened when I took my CNA clinical exams. Almost like the sky opens up and it's all clear (I know kinda funky but that's the best I can describe it).

Bottom line is the summer has been a nice chance to calm down re-focus but I need to learn some skills to avoid this scenario next semester. Any suggestions?